I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You ate ashes out of my bong
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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