My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was like giving head to a cactus.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize