I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
