I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
