Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
