ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
