are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
