I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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