How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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