IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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