I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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