I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
