Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
