my sisters under your porch take her home
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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