haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
