Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
