Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
