do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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