I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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