is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
