i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
