no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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