Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
