im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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