I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
