At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
