so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
