You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
