There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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