I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
