I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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