Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
they're like a gay fantastic four
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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