Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
