so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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