I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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