she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
