my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
