dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
