why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
