we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
