the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
