No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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