Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
