if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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