This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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