She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
