the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
