I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
this boner is exhausting
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
