you guys were way drunker than both of me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
