I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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