Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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