My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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