we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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