these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
