My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
