I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize