tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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