What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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