hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize