They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
