1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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