so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
