I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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