plz talk dirty to me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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