ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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