i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
