I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
