just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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