I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
