I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
love makes seman taste better
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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