You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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