Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
