But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
