Do you still have your period?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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