Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
sex in a hospital.. check
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm always down for nudity.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
