Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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